Well, here we are. My virgin post. It kind of reminds me of the anxiety about losing my actual virginity. What if I’m not good at it? What if I give them the good stuff and they just use me for a one time cheap thrill and then forget all about me? What if my Mom finds out? (There’s just some things you don’t tell your Mom, you know.) What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be? You only get one first time!



I’ve been contemplating starting a blog for quite some time. At one point, I was toying with the idea of writing a novel based on my life. The problem with books is that they have to have an end, and my story is far from over. Until a few years ago my life was a train wreck of epic proportion. I was the hottest of hot messes. I was the conductor of the Hot Mess Express, which is an real thing and not just a figure of speech, but that’s a story for another time. These days my life is peaceful and happy, but far from uneventful. When it comes right down to it, I'm one hell of a beautiful disaster. That’s what makes The Tainted Butterfly the perfect name for my blog.

I took a liking to butterflies when I was a senior in high school. I collect them, and it's common knowledge that if you want get me the perfect gift you can slap a butterfly on damn near anything and I’ll be beyond thrilled.  In college, literally everything in my house had butterflies on it but the toilet paper, and that was only because I wouldn't disrespect butterflies by wiping my ass with them. I think the reason I was initially drawn  to them is that there’s something so free, vulnerable, and enchanting about butterflies that I both envy and identify with. The thing about butterflies that fascinates me the most is that they start out slimy, unimpressive little worms and magically transform into one of God's most beautiful creatures. The butterfly is a reminder that no matter what we go through in life we have the ability  to spread our wings and become something amazing. As my stories unfold, you'll understand why that's so symbolic to me.

To some, dubbing myself a tainted butterfly might sound a little depressing and self-deprecating, but it's actually exactly the opposite. Webster's dictionary defines tainted as something with harmful or undesirable qualities. I've been through things that no woman should ever have to endure. I've experienced pain and sorrow that has altered the course of my life and changed me forever. I’m totally flawed, quirky, screwed up, and there were points in my life I thought I was damaged beyond repair. Yet, somehow I am perfect just the way I am. There isn’t anyone I’d rather be. Like anyone else, there are things about me that I'd like to change, but they’re all things that I can conquer if I really put my mind to it. All my other imperfections I embrace because they have made me who I am… a perfectly imperfect tainted butterfly.a

So, if you’re still feeling like the name sounds depressing, don’t let that fool you into thinking that this will be one of those horrendous blogs where every post involves some cryptic diatribe that makes you feel like you need Prozac to read it. I have kind of a Chelsea Handler type thing going on. (Her stand up is average, but if you’ve never read any of her books you totally should. They’re hysterically genius.) She manages to put a hilarious twist on even the worst of situations, and I’m kind of that way too. Those of you who know me personally know I’m full of silliness and sarcasm, but overall I’m a positive, happy person 90% of the time. I’ve had more than my fair share of heartaches, but I’ve also had a lot of fun and crazy experiences that I can’t wait to share. Presently, I’m about to celebrate my 2^nd anniversary with my wonderful husband who has blessed me with the sweetest, funniest, most talented step kids around. Having teenagers means there’s never a dull moment in my house. It’s straight comedy all the time, and I love sharing stories about our everyday lives. We’d be the perfect family for a reality show. Watch out TI and Tiny, the Andrews crew is coming for your time slot!

In addition to entertaining you with both hysterical and heart-wrenching glimpses into my life, I’m going to hook you up with all kinds of fun things you can use in yours. Recipes, DIY projects, life hacks etc. I’m a bit of a Pinterest junkie but have a complete lack of ability to create a masterpiece and follow directions simultaneously. When I start a recipe or DIY project you never can tell what it will be when I actually finish. The only thing you can be sure of is that all recipes WILL contain dry union soup mix. That shit is mandatory and goes in everything. Soon, I’m going to start hitting up thrift stores looking for things I can repurpose and make over from craptastic to fantastic. I plan to sell them, but we’ll see how that goes. Once I complete a project I tend to fall in love with it and have a hard time letting it go. Keep your onion soup mix and craft supplies handy. I’ll be sure to share my best creations.

I can’t end my first post without giving a shout out to my sweet soul sister, the amazing Tia Baltimore. Her blog is 10 times as captivating as mine will ever be, but she did inspire me to take a stab at this. Check her out at letthemenvy.com and keep a close eye on her. Jealousy, her online boutique, opens in the very near future, and she has a badass sense of style that will have you going broke trying to order 2 of everything.

So, that's it. My first post. Was it as good for you as it was for me? Comment and tell me what you think!

♥ The TB ♥