"You're in love with me. I know you are." We'd been seeing each other about 3 weeks. I just giggled like a school girl and tried to think of something clever to say. No poker face what-so-freakin-ever. At first we were goofing around and being silly, but he suddenly looked me right in the eyes, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me on the forehead. Then he whispered, "It's ok, I know you're scared. Just know that I'm in love with you too, and I have no problem waiting until you're ready to take that step with me." He didn't pressure me about it, but he teased me now and then because he knew I knew that he knew. I stalled for about 2 weeks before I finally just yelled, "FINE, it's true!" when I couldn't take playing hard to get anymore.
We met in the most unlikely and ridiculous of circumstances. Plenty of Fish. Also known as Plenty of Fools, Penis on Fridays, Plenty of Fuckin, Putting out Frequently, Poor or Fugly... I could go on all day. I'm not even embarrassed by how we met. It's a reminder that God has a sense of humor and will use whatever tools he can to put you on the right path. The truth is the whole reason I got into online dating was that I was so unbelievably lost. I'd been through so much I'd just accepted the fact that finding love wasn't in the cards for me. It never even occurred to me that a little light cyber fishing would be the answer to all my hopes and dreams.
We met in the most unlikely and ridiculous of circumstances. Plenty of Fish. Also known as Plenty of Fools, Penis on Fridays, Plenty of Fuckin, Putting out Frequently, Poor or Fugly... I could go on all day. I'm not even embarrassed by how we met. It's a reminder that God has a sense of humor and will use whatever tools he can to put you on the right path. The truth is the whole reason I got into online dating was that I was so unbelievably lost. I'd been through so much I'd just accepted the fact that finding love wasn't in the cards for me. It never even occurred to me that a little light cyber fishing would be the answer to all my hopes and dreams.
The thing that initially caught my attention about him was that when he asked for my number he didn't text me like most of those online losers do. He CALLED, and we had a normal conversation. If you've ever done the online thing you know that texting is the name of the game. Most of those idiots group text 20 girls every morning like it's a damn cattle call. From that first phone call, he has always treated me like I'm the only woman in his world, even when I wasn't. It's true, ladies. I met my Prince Charming on POF.
After talking on the phone daily for about 2 weeks, he took the hour long trip from his city to mine so we could meet in person. I was at a friend's house watching her kid that night and he came to keep me company. In hindsight, bringing a stranger to a home where I was alone with a little girl was unbelievably stupid and dangerous, but back then I wasn't exactly known for my brilliant decisions. I could tell from the pictures that he was a good looking guy, but as soon as I opened the door the chemistry was off the charts. Let's just say we REALLY hit it off, and the next morning when we woke up I was horribly embarrassed that he was still there and my friend knew it. I threw him out on the doorstep at 6am to avoid the awkward situation of them meeting under those circumstances.
Because of the way our first encounter went, I was sure that I was going to be the victim of a hit and run. Much to my surprise, he called me later that day and it was clear that he was unfazed and we had mutual feelings. A few days later he asked if I wanted to go eat with him when he got off work. It was late so we went to the best place in town open at that hour, IHOP. The service was terrible and it took them over an hour to bring our food which was great because we got to really talk and get to know each other better. We even got our meals for free.
These days, it's pretty rare to meet someone who doesn't have some potential relationship or situation they have to clean up to make it work with you. We definitely had an uncertain start, but it helped that he kept it 100. It made me feel like I could trust that he would be honest with me even if he knew I wouldn't like the truth. That's a pretty rare quality these days. He told me that before we met he'd been on a few dates with some trick named Lilly Ringo, or LR-187, as I called her to my friends. This chick was gonna have to go one way or another and homicide wasn't totally out of the question. He said she was very relationship aggressive and it was a big turn off. On their first date, she asked him if his furniture was nicer than hers because they were going to need to decide who's to get rid of and told him he'd have to move some stuff to the attic if he wanted to be able to park in the garage. (Who does that???) So, note to self, DON'T BE AGGRESSIVE. I would play it so cool around him like it was just whatever, but I was secretly beside myself about the "competition". Within a few weeks homicide was no longer necessary and LR-187 was history.
I'd had something going on with someone until shortly before we met as well. Looking back on it, I can't even say it was dating. It was really just a bunch of bullshit. He was one of those guys that was good looking and he knew it. He conducted himself in such a way that had women publicly begging for his attention on social media, which I wasn't about to be doing, but we did have a lot of fun hanging out. He even had a catchy little nickname he went by to draw attention to himself. I won't say what it is because I don't want to give his silly ass any shine. So, for our purposes we'll just call him Mitch the Manwhore. I wasn't foolish enough take the guy seriously because I knew he was giving all those other girls the same lame ass line he was giving me. When he saw that I was losing interest he tried to pull the 'I'm in love with you' card. Yeah, he's in love, OJ's innocent, and 2Pac’s coming over for dinner. I do appreciate him sitting his ass down and not blocking the entrance for the guy behind him though.
At the time, I was 33 years old, flat broke, and living with my parents. I'd been in an abusive relationship until about 2 years prior that resulted in me back on my parents door step with only the clothes on my back and not a dime to my name. I tried to put a good spin on it because I felt like a total loser. I told him I stayed with a friend but hung out with my mom a lot. He figured it out pretty quickly, but he didn't care about that. He didn't even mind having the "What are your intentions with my daughter?" talk with a grown woman's Dad. He didn't see my circumstances. He saw ME.
At the time, I was 33 years old, flat broke, and living with my parents. I'd been in an abusive relationship until about 2 years prior that resulted in me back on my parents door step with only the clothes on my back and not a dime to my name. I tried to put a good spin on it because I felt like a total loser. I told him I stayed with a friend but hung out with my mom a lot. He figured it out pretty quickly, but he didn't care about that. He didn't even mind having the "What are your intentions with my daughter?" talk with a grown woman's Dad. He didn't see my circumstances. He saw ME.
Aside from LR-187, everything about him was so perfect I was convinced he was too good to be true. Every little thing that would happen, I was just sure we were through. Once we ran into his ex-fiancé in the store. They talked for a few minutes and went their separate ways. I was just so sure that they were going to reconcile that I stayed in bed and bawled like he'd already dumped me the rest of the weekend. Then, when we’d been seeing each other about 3 months the ultimate test of our relationship came. We were at my parent's house, and I was on my computer. I left the room and my Facebook was right there in plain sight. (Brilliant, I know.) When I came back he was all up in my inbox. It was clear that I hadn't been cheating on him, but he saw some messages between me and Mitch that I would have been heart broken if I'd found out he was saying to someone else. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Until that moment, I really didn't think through how I interacted with other guys aside from not cheating. In my mind, there was no way in hell I was lucky or deserving enough to end up with someone who truly cared about me.
He was PISSED. I bawled and begged him not to leave. I swore I didn't want anyone but him, and I truly didn't! I felt like an idiot, a fool. Who was that sports dude that shot himself in the leg in the club? I was that guy. My mom stopped him on his way out looking very distraught. She sat him down and encouraged him to try to understand that I had been mistreated so badly for so long that I had no idea how to act in a healthy relationship. To this day, neither of them have ever told me what was said. I'm grateful to my Mom for many things, but saving us that day is at the top of the list. Not only did what happened open my eyes and make me get some act right, it showed me something that I really needed to know. I learned that day that he loved me in spite of all my flaws, insecurities, baggage, and issues I had at the time. I learned I didn't have to be perfect to be worthy of love. I've been 10,000% devoted to him every day since and would never do anything that would make him question my loyalty.
Exactly one year after our first meal together, we were right back in that IHOP having breakfast with Prince Charming's son and daughter-in-law. Before I had a chance to object, they were telling the waiter it was my birthday so we could get a free dessert. I hate being put on the spot, and I was really mad when they came out to sing to me. There I was, half pissed off and totally embarrassed when at the end of the song the waiter leaned over and said, "William would be honored if you'd be his wife." The waiter stuck up his pinky and there was the world's most beautiful ring. I screamed so loud the entire restaurant stopped and stared in silence like they do in the movies when someone makes a scene. We got married at a little Bed and Breakfast 6 months later. We had less than 40 guests, and it couldn't have been more perfect.
The day that he had "the talk" with my Dad he told him that it was his life's mission to right all the wrong that had been done to me and make all my dreams come true. He has done that every single day since. We’re celebrating our 2nd anniversary in a few weeks. We just bought the home of my dreams a few weeks ago. One by one, we’ve taken on every single thing I never thought I’d have and made it happen together. He could have kept it moving and found a woman not so broken, one who had it all together, but he chose to start at square 1 and build a life with me. He never treated me like a charity case or a project. He just treated me like a woman who deserved a love she'd never had, and hung in there with me until I figured out how to accept it.
Think of this as that moment after riding a roller coaster where you're sitting on the platform waiting for someone to hit the switch that throws it in reverse. The roller coaster ride that has been my life if full of twists and turns, highs and lows. Everything's been turned upside down more than once. Maybe the wild ride isn’t over yet, but it’s nice to know that whatever happens he’ll be taking the ride with me. There’s no better place to start than this because an explanation of who I am today wouldn’t be complete without him. Before you hear all the dirty details about my wild and wonderful friends, my crazy adventures, my evil ex, and Lord only knows what else, I had to tell the most important story of all. I could finish up with some corny metaphor about caterpillars turning to butterflies, but you get the idea. Just stay tuned. My life as a caterpillar was pretty interesting.
2 comments
Beautiful Story. You two are adorble.
ReplyDeleteThank you! 💜
ReplyDeletePlease leave a comment so I know I'm not talking to myself. ;) I read every single one. ♥